expressions

FROM AN OLD PATTERN BOOK 50

Some days are cold, some are cloudy. The shrivelled leaves are caught in the trees. Seemingly, they don’t have the energy to fall all the way to the ground. We don’t have snow. The sunshine is intermittent and catches us by surprise rather like a sudden light being flicked on in a dark room. We raise an arm to cover our foreheads and venture out. Blinking at first, we decide to go for a walk or putter around the yard. These moments lead to contact between neighbours and exchanged greetings on the Mission Creek Pathway or on the road up Knox Mountain.

hand made card class

But many people I know are sick. Cameron and I have been entertaining a low grade infestation. Just enough of an illness to not feel well and some days waking up to a serious case of the blahhhhs. I am not a winter person although I have chosen to live in Canada since 1972. Most of the winter goes by in a kind of depressed funk. I feel like some English Victorian in a cold moldy house in the country that sits by a feeble light and attempts to write but all is dispirited at best.

christmas wreath 08 image for sale

My house is not moldy and it is wonderfully cozy but still the lack of light coming through the windows and the cavelike aspect of winter existence create a decidedly gothic ambience.

Every day, I say to myself that the answer is to get exercise. But for a semi-depressed person to find motivation is difficult. Each morning my intention is to shove off of my couch and briskly move through the cold knives of air.

I remember our lovely cat who has passed on. The first blast of cold was hysterically funny. She, who had a fear of and an attraction to the out of doors would run like a bullet to the opening between our legs out the door. Sudden shifts in the weather to truly cold would catch her like a wall. Her back legs would continue running because of the velocity she had achieved but her face, neck, chest would collapse into one another as if she had hit an obstruction. Her front legs would plant themselves and her rear would keep going. She would mound up like a slinky toy. Not only was she horrified by the unwelcoming air but now she was humiliated by our laughter. She would attempt to flatten out and turn in a slow dignified manner and then run like hell for a bed with blankets to try to soothe herself from experiencing the horror of winter air.

Perhaps we laughed so deeply because we identified with her.

I have my surgery on Tuesday and will be pretty much down for a while, so the chance to get out and walk should be calling me. But I look out the window and the dullness does not beckon.

Basically, most people in Kelowna turn on the weather network to deal with winter depression. It is rather like someone with arthritis looking at a neighbour with a wooden leg. At least, we don’t have to put up with that, we say in a smug voice.

catching a few rays in our new bathroom

I need to feed my Etsy sight and write Christmas cards today. Wish I felt more like doing things. But it is as it is. The stomach, ears, throat, chest, neck pain, headache all are whining and complaining. At least I am not as sick as some of my friends. We seek solace in comparisons. The deluded mind is well conditioned.

Recently the CBC held a forum on support for the arts in Kelowna on the Day Break Show. It amazed me how optimistic the program sang in tone. We were told that 200,00 people were in the Rotary Centre in the past year. The issue of how the community supports the arts was totally by passed because there was no discussion of what “supports” means.

from photo up knox mountain

If by support, you mean they attended a musical event or play that had an ’80s rocker or a play that was popular in other cities in the 90’s, then yes. I guess that is support. But what of the local artists, musicians and performers. The real question is what is happening to make sure that we keep these people alive (as in fed), give them an audience (as in inspired) and build a fan base (as in future security). Is that happening? Most artists and musicians that I know are working on their art at a cost. It is financial with the need to find other sources of income to feed the fire. It is emotional in the attempts to garner a respectfully paying gig, or customers who will buy enough to keep them in paint.

the bridge is the answer to all problems

Why were there 50 fewer artists in booths at Propera this year? The economy is down. But it has always been “down.” We rely so heavily on outsiders to support and appreciate our local talent that most artists end by feeling like creative buskers in a tourist town.

Further to the issue of passivity and apathy, is the up coming by-election. I am really curious as to what percent of individuals here will bother to go out and vote. The last major election it was under 20%. What are you guesses as the interest of Kelowna residents in their future?

The all candidates forum is on Wednesday, November 25th. How many care? How many will come to the forum? Which individuals will have the energy and commitment to the future of the city to go to a polling booth? We will have to watch and see.

where are the dolphins

Meanwhile, I am tired and happily in bed after the Potters and Artisans Show at the Rotary Centre which has just one more day. Hope to see you there Sunday and at local voting station November 28th. We deserve the kind of government we get.

Red swirl done this summer

As I am turning 65 tomorrow, I have spent the week uncharacteristically. I got a manicure with candy apple red nail polish which turned out to be a very bad job. It is the fourth in my life and I was loathe to go in and get another one until the proper 15 years had elapsed. I had my teeth bleached today to a lovely lighter shade of yellow-gray. Instead of going to work, I went shopping and bought six tee shirts for $80. I am having tea with not one friend on one occasion but with two friends on two occasions. This week I have had three naps because turning older can be exhausting… and perhaps starting work at 9 am and working until 9 pm might be a contributing factor. I walked past a spider web. My to do list has remained in the dark crevices of my purse and my mind. We have gone to bed early and watched the comedy network on computer

art work layered as backdrop

and laughed.

One of our town councilors who has had recurrent cancer died Monday. I think about the close calls and am so thankful that I am still here to see my grand daughters, to be a friend, to enjoy the partnership with my husband, to become a better person. To have died at 38, 52, 55, 57 (from hemorrhaging almost 1/2 of the blood from my body, from cancer, an horrendous car accident, or from a live electrical line hitting our car would have meant that I would have come back as a chicken or a turtle or something perhaps.

Rhane, Dominique, Teagan, Cherie, Alexandra

I am only now starting to get “it”. I am only now starting to see that I am only starting to see. I am grateful for all of my teachers and all of my lessons. And like a piece of leather in the jaws of an Inuit woman from history, I have become softer with age and stretchier. I have been chewed on by time.
Planning to see a plastic surgeon soon about another eye lift…. So I can see without the flap of skin in the way.

Blessings.

Heritage Award for preservation of Veteran

Sunshine is pushing against the two windows in the kitchen. The furnace sounds like the ocean during a storm. Air moving through the space where I am sitting is both cold and warm. Breezes of technology brushing across and under me. I awoke with an incipient migraine and my head full of lists.

As Pema Chondra recommends that we “keep out seat” and stay in a neutral place between manic and depressive, I am aware of the error of my ways. Work…businesses…running out of time. These adrenalized issues are once again playing out in my life.

I awake already two days behind. I have promised myself out to so many people. When I hear that a fellow artist needs publicity or help, I am triggered and attempt to help.

Currently I am finishing a CD jacket which promises to be very lovely and will be reflecting of the beautiful meditative compositions that Vernon multi-talented artist Devon Muhlert has written. But I have difficulty finding time to complete the project. The upcoming show for SOPA gallery called Under 8 is pressing and I have images to paint for that. Tuesday I have to prepare a presentation for the Central Okanagan Photographers’ lecture of Images of Europe.

Images of Europe show coming up Tuesday

I was attending the Okanagan Institute Board meetings until the projects just started piling up and I didn’t have the time. Artists@Work First Thursday Art Crawl needs to be organized more tightly for upcoming times when the tourists will appear like rescuers from our winter doldrums.

My neighbours Ray and Sarah Lewis have in essence carried the North End Resident’s Association on their already over burdened backs for the past three years, so I have stepped in to serve as the President this coming year. There is much to do.

Three other amazing artists will be part of the group show in Vienna, Austria in May and I have the graphics and conceptual statement to complete for that.

But it is strange how just when I think I am about to go mad with constant work, an opportunity opens up.

After the Central Okanagan Heritage Society presented our block, 500 Okanagan Boulevard, with a heritage award for maintaining the vets houses in such good repair, Cameron and I were dead tired and driving around. “Let’s go pick up food,” I suggested. We ended up doing something we haven’t done in over six months… we went out to dinner. The two of us sat alone at Yamato’s Restaurant under the four foot round string encased lights reminiscent of 60’s decor and the Japanese paper lanterns. We were across from one another at the acid green formica tables and had nothing to do but look at one another. I could feel the rhythm of my body set for scrimmage action: running without protective gear through the barriers of the day. I could see my mind flashing through the lists of things yet undone. I could step back and see how depleted I had become.

And Cameron was across from me. For the first time in months he didn’t have a computer in front of his face. Hey. He has eyes. He has really nice eyes. I think I could love this man. Yep!

So trusting that all will get done is work that I need to do. I even see that as work. Blocking in time to do nothing is important. Taking time to have dinner with my dear friend Lil, last night I got another chance to just sit and get grounded by the presence of another voice. Not just the voice in my head like the overseer of the one man crew of my body. The voice whipping me on to do yet more.

Learning to move from a place of love and security instead of a place of anxiety is what my lesson is. Learning to discipline myself to not spend money or put both my hands in the sugar bowl, figuratively speaking, when I feel anxious is my lesson.

But today. I sit here in my soft yellow bathrobe with my hair sticking up. The sun is knocking at two windows. The air is moving across me and it sounds like the beach. I will begin my projects and they will be completed. I will plan my journey to Vienna, my show for Artscape at the Kelowna Community Theatre, my drawing for the Okanagan Erotic Art Show, my lecture for COPS, my works for Sopa knowing that the universe supports me and that all will go well.

The idea that there will be a stopping point is both real and delusional. Now is the stopping point. The mind says, “When you finish this……” The promising mind entices me into the future. There is a stopping point and it is called death. And now. Pause.

http://www.okanaganeroticartshow.com/

http://www.artsco.ca/kelowna.php

http://www.copsphoto.ca/

http://www.sopafinearts.com/news.htmI

http://www.matthiasschmidt.at

Today I worked a few images that  are processed in the manner that is my practice. I selected photographs, worked the images in the Paint Shop Pro Photo X2 and then layered, highlighted and dropped worked images into worked images. Layering, distortion, filtering leads me to the jpg image. If a customer wishes to order an image from my bank… I print it out on canvas and the fun begins.

another sample at higher resolution

It is at this point in the process where I apply acrylic paint, metallic paint, India ink, metallic foil, various mediums including glass bead and tar.

The original pic of winter trees

Layer upon layer of processes lead me to the spot where I have a piece which has shifting planes and an energy that challenges the eye. It is all a dance of discovering and I joyfully lose myself in it.

So above are today’s images.

the image was sent in as jpg then printed

The Los Angeles public turned out

The show in Los Angeles sent through pictures of the opening at the Los Angeles centre for digital art. I am happy to share them with you. My image is tourquoise and was of a “reconstructed” aluminum paint tray.

Tourquoise aluminim paint tray second from top

All works were printed on paper

My image is high up on the wall

Self series

I grew up in the U.S. school system which pretty much treated us like laboratory rats. We were measured, weighed, tested, assessed and compared from the time I was in kindergarten on.
My report cards kept reflecting that I was “unlike” other students. This presentation of anomaly was particularly problematic in the pool of acceptability.
I was slow to learn to read. Having to stay in at recess and after school until I caught up with the other third graders was humiliating. With hindsight I see what a dedicated, kind and disciplined teacher I had the luck to experience.
By grade eight I was reading at first year university level. We were streamed in grade nine after an appropriately named “battery” of tests. Separated from all of the lower cohorts, I was grouped with only those whose goal was university. In fact, over 80% of those I attended middle school and high school with went on to get a graduate degree as did I.
In grade 12 I knew exactly what position I held in the 368 students who graduated that year. We had access to the information at any time. I fought tooth and nail for position 35 and had aspirations for position 30. My 25 percentile ability in math held me back. Basically, I was informed in curtained language that I was a math idiot.
In grade 11 I and my other “geekdom” dwellers who had scored in the top 95% of all high school students in the United States for academic ability were gathered to sit in chairs in a row on the gym floor. Over 1,000 students were ushered in to look down on us. The honor was usually for the jocks. Once a month the entire school for forcefully herded down to cheer at them. Now it was our turn. There was NO enthusiasm on either side. We felt marked out like trapped animals and they felt hostile at worse and totally bored with our presence at best.
What has the experience left me with? A competitive nature even with myself.
Probably, this is one of the reasons even though I received three academic degrees by the time I was 22 years of age, that I love multi-media art. I work alone. I work without an audience. I work without words. My work is strange, unique and incomparable. What a blessing.

self portrait, too many thoughts, visions

The castle

One Woman Show by artist Cherie Hanson

Unitarian Fellowship 1310 Bertram Street

November and December

Viewing available to all who rent the space

Open to the public 11:45 to 12:30 Sundays.

#2 New Works are up at Energy Gallery and the lay out is great http://www.energygallery.com

#3 four pieces are off to Italy for the Trevisan “Traces of Memory” exhibition in Ferrar, Italy.http://www.trevisanarte.com/eventi-eng.htm

The following images are done on mdf wood in acrylic paint to use as fridge magnets…or to frame.

…Has to be art out of Kelowna. I am constantly looking for opportunities to show in the greater world because, frankly, my sales are better out there. I have heard the statement, “Kelowna has no appetite for ideas.” It is an interesting question. Does Kelowna support and sustain the qualities which make the place more than a flash in the pan? We have amazing talent here, fascinating groups and dynamic individuals.

Recently, issues have arisen about use of the park. There are events that can create vitality. What if there were a fee schedule for groups that have limited funds and were likely to bring in viewers? Is there a way that liveliness can be encouraged? It is value added for both tourists and locals.

Today, I intend to complete the piece for Kamloops and put together three portfolios. There are, as well, some interesting possibilities for submissions that I have found on line which I am in pursuit of. I never thought my retirement would be so dynamic.

Janice Fingado and I will be working on our art outside the Rotary Centre for the Arts, 421 Cawston Avenue during the Summer Games. It will be great to have people around and to be out in the summer air.

We will be outside from 1 until 4 both Friday, July 25th and Saturday, July 26th.

I am hoping more people come to see my show. Retrospective: A Second Life has over eighty pieces of art created over a nine year period on display at the Rotary Centre. It is an opportunity to see the evolution of my practice as I learned and gained more confidence.

Speaking of outside, I had better go stack some wood then off on my bicycle to the work place.

Some random thoughts.

What if there were an “Angry Man” frozen dinner? The giant in Jack and the Bean Stalk could have come home and asked for it? Fee Fi Fo Fum, Angry Man dinner. From the car to the table in one temper fit.

What if someone put a cut out of Farmer MacGregor with his shot gun standing in wait for bunnies on Enterprise Way in Kelowna. The city has now hired a “culling” company to shoot all of the insurgent released former pets. Would it be seen as an infringement of copyright and get national attention? I hear the Beatrix Potter estate is vigilant.

What if someone demonstrated “Right to Life” on Enterprise Way to protest the slaughter of rabbits via shotgun within the city limits?

What if the new green plan for inner city was pouring green colorant into cement? Would we be fooled? “Oh, an urban forest. How relaxing.”

Our city has geese, rabbits and marmots which are considered pests. Why can’t these be served at the Bridge Opening to cut expenses? Kebab is everybody’s favorite barbecue. Who would know?

The first people over the bridge, Hey, wouldn’t that be the workers?

What if people had to pay in advance to talk to artists, then artists would make money, maybe even a profit. 1-888-chatart?

What if developers made a presentation that didn’t say, “It will attract tourists.” Instead, what if they said , ” It will attract local citizens.”

No more randomness- ploting the plot!

The front yard is magnificient, trimmed and I am fooled into thinking the natural world can be tamed. The English heritage of creating a rolling green punctuated by roisterous crowds of flowers makes me feel as if I had a Monopoly sized version of a great estate. Ah grandure and control. I have managed to fool myself again.

The backyard on the other hand is a construction zone where stalled projects wait. This year…. we promise ourselves. The area I am setting my sites on is 10 by 10. I believe that by claiming calmness for this small area the illusion of control of the universe will soothe my delusional mind in the short term. Respite, a meditation area in the shade out of the fierce sun. Not this Friday, but one Friday.

What if?