A spring in my step

Wielding the mighty pitch fork, I dug up the errand grass clumps in the garden and speculated about the goodness or badness of plants. Grass in the lawn is a beautiful thing. It is soft, thick a place to lay down and see the sky. Grass in the garden bed is the enemy.

Rotary Centre Artists

Rotary Centre Artists

I freed the heather from the surrounding enemy of grass clumps. I raked the protective leaves off of the surface of the soil. What was once a blanket is now a shroud, so must be moved. I anticipated planting seeds. I got dirty, I bent way over and I carried heavy bags. It was an invigorating method of replanting myself in the garden.

changing who I am reforming

changing who I am reforming

I am looking forward to the Sopa under 8 show and need to tend my web sites. They have become overgrown with disuse. The clarity of the direction for my on line marketing must be re-established. I have to prune and replant them. I decided to come off of Yessy. A friend suggested that I begin to use flickr as a marketing site as well. It is a great suggestion.

grand girl Tegan

grand girl Tegan

So I will continue to work on the garden, start the process of organizing my on line presence and I wish to make some dresses for my beautiful grand girls. I will look forward with optimism and realize that the seeds I plant now will bloom and provide me with beauty.

Two Months and where is the art?

Today is the anniversary of the dissolution of my partnership, friendship and married state. Things are getting easier in the sense that I can sleep for four or more hours a night. The emptiness is still intense. The sense of unreality and living in a darkened valley is pervasive. Yesterday when I was buying apples, I was excited to see the kind my husband likes and began to put them in a bag. No. He isn’t there any more. Then I began to sob in the store, deep soul rending sobs. I embarrass myself. The act of caring for, thinking about, trying to find small gifts and pleasures for the person I love are habits developed over 16 years and it is a deep sense of loss when I cannot show my love any longer.

words that held no meaning

words that held no meaning

I have created a couple of digital art works and begun to put thoughts as poems up on facebook in order to speed the mourning process. I do not love lightly. I do not love easily. Fiercely loyal and passionate, I have held on when others would have walked away.

When I think of the two of us, I think of gardening. Two plants that are close together have their roots intertwined. To transplant them is to tear the roots apart, the white threads indistinguishable until the ripping begins. This tearing was not gentle, anticipated nor was it kind. The shock has set me back but the sun is shining and I have hopes that one day I will not be so wounded and full of sorrow. One day I will wake to calm and not emptiness.

your voice so sweet carries me forward

your voice so sweet carries me forward

The sun is frozen on the branches

outside my window.

I awake alone.

Air hangs cold in the room

There is no sound of you

with coffee cups of love

to warm the day.

I am waiting

for my heart to mend

and pull the wrapping blankets around

to hold me like your arms.

did once.

One foot in front of the other even though I cannot see the ground keeps me moving. The two images I have up at Sopa are in the gallery.

Embrace $680 at Sopa under 8 show

Embrace $680 at Sopa under 8 show

Today I will begin the process of getting my taxes done, finding out if I had a successful procedure to stop the tearing of the retina in my right eye (the doctor said it is trauma related. Maybe 8 weeks of crying all day). I have a yard to prepare for spring. My class in Penticton needs care. I have the marking up to date and some preparation done but I do need to create a mid term mark. I am hopeful that I can get out of this depression and get back to work in the studio. I am pushing myself to function and making accomplishments.

Grieving is exhausting work but I don’t want to take this baggage forward with me. I want it out of my system, out of my heart. There is love waiting for me. I am sure of that.

New works

I am back to working on some new projects. I will have two pieces in the under 8 show for Sopa Fine Art Gallery. Currently I have work up at Okanagan College in the new, sleek learning centre.

squash picture becomes graphic

squash picture becomes graphic

The Moon Gallery on Westside wants a couple of my works for their April show. But other than that I have been very focussed on my teaching.

Here are some of my new works.

looks like a playing card

looks like a playing card