I feel lit up. I feel grounded and strong. My feet like tree roots connected deeply to my past, to time behind, to experiences lived. My body is becoming strong again as I lift the smaller weights and rebuild my left arm that I fractured from not paying attention in October.
And at the same time the ego is running around like a Roomba… telling me the 50,000 things I could/should/must do. As soon as I feel a jolt of possibility striking me, the old patterns are activated.
I can paint the base boards in the bedrooms of my B&B. I can write a new book of poetry. I can walk the wet, mythic lands of my ancestors in the North of England. I can send in my manuscript; bleach my teeth; clean out my car; empty my shed; sell my art; get my files straightened on dropbox and my computer.
I have a surge of energy and then the entire cattle drive goes on the run. Each intention runs off of a cliff or into a ravine.
I am far enough along in my ability to step back and watch myself to not be annoyed or angry. It is hugely amusing. I can sit and see the source of comedy in this default setting. Man… my mind is funny.
I start out as an adult and then end up running around the coffee table like my 2 year old grand daughter. Circle faster, circle again.
So as the New Year begins I can feel the brightness of having a starting line. The larger self wants to make sure it is a straight line and not some caucus race to get dry run in the surf by the ocean. Alice in Wonderland had much to teach us about the nature of reality.
I breathe out… stay in the now of it and just feel the gratitude of being able to sit in the joy of new beginnings.