We are like little engines. Sometimes when the weather is cold and gray; sometimes when we isolate ourselves by sitting in front of the shining glass loneliness of a screen; sometimes when our spirits are in the Gulag of existence, we have simply run out of fuel.
The first step for me has always been to blame myself for not being able to self-generate, self-regenerate, guilty of being un-buckable up.
What I am learning is that yelling at an already defeated spirit does little to efficiently motivate the crumpled self.
Last night I went to see The Greatest Showman and I came out of the theater feeling octane filled and ready to muscle up. It was a many layered infusion. Firstly, I was inspired by Barnum himself. He invented a massively effective entertainment. In his day, he was like Disney. The vision came entirely from his own inner imagination and made him a millionaire, famous and allowed him to create anything he could envision.
Secondly, Hugh Jackman just floods me with a joy for being alive when I see him perform in a musical. Strangely enough, when he slammed his hand down on the bar with such confidence and force, I felt a message being delivered: “I want to be like that!” He was in perfect time, emphatic, expansive, expressive and aligned with the music.
Now for me to find my music; my expression in words, in my art, in my rhythm in life will take confidence and submission. The submission is to the discipline of working on my skills as a daily habit. The submission is to stop relying on a sense that I need outside validation to know that I am making progress. The submission is to just work on building muscle in my body; to building stamina in my use of energy by not allowing momentary defeat to stall me; to submission to the utter joy of expression without constantly trying to reign myself in.
I walked out of the movie feeling like I had been recharged with the joy of the chase.
It is what art can do for people in this life of illusion of darkness and smoke. It is what creativity brings to people: Celebration of life. We need music for our movie. Make a sound track!