Why don’t people in Kelowna attend the festivals?

dolphin sculpture in kelowna

dolphin sculpture in kelowna

I have heard it is because of the snow, the rain, the wind, the heat, the wind. There is another event, game, movie, festival. The snow hills call, the beaches are attractive, there is a hockey match. The questions continue to come at the end of the Music and Arts festival which had killer musicians performing for people dispersed on the grass as randomly as bits of clover in the summer lawn. Colin James had an audience. But where were the people to hear the Arrogant Worms and Stephen Fearing. I have seen more people lined up to pay their taxes at city hall than I saw at the Music and Arts Festival.

My history in the Okanagan is both deep and long. I ran the Okanagan Film Festival Society, volunteer for Dramafest, was on the board of Theatre Kelowna, the City of Kelowna Arts Foundation and worked hard for the good of the Jazz and Blues Society. The questions were always the same: Where are the people? Where is the support? Are we throwing this party on the wrong night, during the wrong season? Are we unknowingly creating a conflict of choices?
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James who was one of the five people to visit in study in ten hours at the Rotary Centre said that we need to poll the people in Kelowna to find out what it is they are doing. Then we need to pitch to that. Perhaps a mobile festival that drives up to their house and has a one hour presentation on their deck?

It is a question that is unresolved. What do you think?

Why income tax?

Snow the wind-freezing hands and fingers ice cycle in and out of pockets. The urge to shut down, shut up, withdraw is strong. But soon the lawn will be exposing itself and the dead sticks will need to be clipped so new shoots can begin.

For now, it is about self-discipline. Inside my studio the papers like snow, receipt, receipt, receipt falling to my ankles on the floor as I enter the red line reality of my last year. Keeping track of what I spent is not something I do willingly. Ten years of working every day and there is no turn in the road. The view is clearly backward.

detail of a painting I did as a donation for Gallery Vertigo

detail of a painting I did as a donation for Gallery Vertigo

How much better it is to tell myself that I am moving to the where of somewhere. Knowing that I am working 12 hours a day, choosing not to drive the car to have a coffee, not going to the thrift store, not reading a magazine at the book store so that I can get to the where of somewhere. And then this. The irrefutable records of loss.

Each sale only a fraction of what was expended. The sales months apart. I have the words to warm my heart. I have the words of “Beautiful. Love it. Amazing. Genius. Genius. Genius.” And yet I break our couples’ backs. What if…. the questions arising. What if I did not try so hard? What if I did not work on learning the edge of the brush, the filter treatment, the flow of line? What if I lunched and pampered and read and traveled for something besides to show my art?
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The questions arise; the faces of columns asking me why. And all I can answer is that I cannot help it. The work calls me.

reaching for connection

reaching for connection

How do I turn what I so highly value into something that is valued by others?

The words are sweet but are a fantasy, offering neither light nor heat.