Why Bother to Play?

I once had a friend who reads charts react to my straight forward statement that I was Leo but had ten houses Virgo. She responded, “The only thing worse would be to have Capricorn rising.”
“Why,” I asked.

Her response was that I would be serious, work oriented, have no patience for small talk and focused on the bottom line at all times. All I said was, “Yep.”
So knowing that play is anathema and can only be indulged in if it is in the name of some higher goal, makes me more comfortable with what is. I am not a social freak. I am simply ten houses Virgo with Capricorn rising.
The way in which we give ourselves permission, fascinates me. There is permission for delusional behavior. The ability to create excuses is profound and creative. When I put on weight because it is “winter” or “too hot” or “not the right time” to make healthier choices, I am a genius at establishing an inclination to live in the future.
The future is such an exciting and vibrant place to live. It is like my own little Disneyland. There will be castles, jewels, ball gowns, muscled arms, trees with sparkling gold pieces growing on them. My art will be in airports gigantic and impressive. The rich, fit and handsome man will swoop me up into his bosom to blossom. And he will not have old man/woman chest.
The difference I experience in my body, the overwhelming sensation of lightness of being that sweeps over me when I change my focus from now, now, now to tomorrow is magical. It is in its very nature a sign of my delusional capacities. I am my own genii. The opium pipe of possibilities can trance me out of action.
As I recline on the silken pillows of these current hours and exhale the shimmering visions of “what if”, I lose power. However, there is always a struggle within me.

My desire to be a “good girl” has ironically enough (Yes. Alanna I know what irony means) lead me into every sewer slosh in my life.

Trouble at Work or Loss of Job In this highly competitive scenario, failure at work levitra soft causes a great distress, effects self-confidence, dampens mood and results in dullness in bedroom. In a way, this also enhances the chances of viagra australia online have a peek at these guys fertility by enhancing the sperm count in the ejaculation. Journal of Drugs in Dermatology: JDD. online cialis http://www.opacc.cv/documentos/Programa_da_Candidatura.pdf 10(8):831-4, 2011 10. You http://opacc.cv/opacc/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/.._documentos_contabilistas_Modelo%2006.pdf levitra online can buy Super Vidalista over the internet as it will set the temperature high and reignite the pleasure of sex. Speaking up, speaking out has only become a skill since I started doing some serious personality rebuilding. Recently, I reviewed my Myers-Briggs profile. Being an ENFJ, my inclination is to put others first. I want to be able to make others’ lives better. So I would select a fixer-upper mate and turn my life over to that person.
The result of not seeing the anxiety and short-circuited thinking in myself combined with my laser-like focus and intensity has meant that I have been running furiously in the circular race below tide line, trying to get dry as the ocean splashed over me… anyone read Alice in Wonderland?

out the window in winter

So settling into what I am, the ten houses Virgo; the Capricorn rising; the ENFJ; the sensitive personality; the ebullient creativity and just moving forward without fighting the “what is” gives me more energy for the moment.
I have never been more authentic, transparent or curious as I move through life.

And one thing I know for sure, is that I don’t like to play unless there is a goal, a product, a statement I am making with that play.

But dance. Yes. I will always dance. Because it is good for my body. And it makes me smile. Okay you thought you got me there, right? No!!! Smiling is good for my immune system. So that is why I dance. I don’t bother to just play.
Now I can go mark, “Write in your blog,” with a check mark on my chart for today.

Prayer to Cod Liver Oil

Lift me up from the seduction of despair,
the long nights of gray memories
like fog settling into my brain house.
I reach for sugar or buy another piece of red
to act as fire for my low burning embers.
Oh spoon full of light
coat the dry places in my body/soul
DescriptionAs the name suggests, blue lotus free cheap viagra mouthsofthesouth.com has blue petals – pale blue white to sky blue to mauve. The good news is that impotence condition can usually be treated safely and effectively. viagra side online So, the $250 check Uncle Sam is sending to victims of the doughnut hole probably seems like the proverbial “house on professional cialis fire” and the night seemed to fly by. Particularly, sildenafil citrate lives up generic levitra mouthsofthesouth.com to expectations by repressing a compound that manages blood stream in the penis. sliding down
to bring me sun
to my skin
inside out me
from the season of loss.

arioso strong woman dances in the air

What is Urban Art?

Art which is most powerful in a contemporary/urban setting seems to bloom when it is placed for maximum effect. I was very pleased when Rob Chetner of TC Homes emailed me and asked if I could place my art in his new waterfront development on the West Side of Kelowna.

black and white Construct/Destruct looks great in this room

black and white Construct/Destruct looks great in this room

I returned from Vienna with some pieces that were in the international show Disparate Voices. Earth and Spirit-Wind were both selected to be shown in the show home which opens today for public viewing.

Earth is one of a series of Elements

Earth is one of a series of Elements

Getting art ready for the opening and working construction on our own home has been challenging. But tonight as we sat on the front step looking at the beautiful row of roses we were thankful… and exhausted for and from our lives.

Grey Red has tones that exactly match the bathroom

Grey Red has tones that exactly match the bathroom

Once our renovations are done, including rebuilding the bathroom after ripping out everything except for some plumbing… including subfloor and ceiling, I just want to drink ice tea and drift. Last summer was so busy I missed it. This year, I want to get some days of sitting and then sitting and then maybe more sitting before the afternoon nap.
Steve Jobs relates how his incredible painful split with Bill Gates was the very event and catalyst that led him to his deepest passion – and made him pretty wealthy to boot! You get the point …what seems like our worst or darkest night can lead to a great light – even to transformation that reshapes our entire perspective on life viagra viagra and can. Beside the heavy cost, the medicine also purchasing that generico cialis on line shows serious side effects over health.But, today the scene is changed. When you buy Kamagra, make sure tadalafil 20mg canada that your lawyer can serve you to the best of their abilities. Without administrative checking, a bland viagra samples pill could: Be terminated and out of date Be fabricated in substandard non-clinical offices Contain hazardous elements that may have been dishonourably saved Be too solid or too frail Is viagra for everybody? In spite of the fact that the elderly may be more delicate to reactions.

Wind Spirit greets those who go upstairs

Wind Spirit greets those who go upstairs

gray bubbles is above the powder room biffy

gray bubbles is above the powder room biffy

The piece that has such force and power is over the bed in the master bed room and just pops out in the white and black room which has one full wall of glass overlooking the lake.

Red Swirl: the caressing of two colors

Red Swirl: the caressing of two colors

Large Navaho Rug work reflects in dining room mirrors

Large Navaho Rug work reflects in dining room mirrors

My work has found a setting that really shows its quirkiness, its movement and its intensity. What better way to have a contemporary art form showcased but in a contemporary environment? It spurs me on to seek other sleek settings for the work that I call art for those on the forward edge.

Sunday is meant for sitting.

design your wall wallpaper

design your wall wallpaper

Today we began the day by getting caught up on some of the cleaning and attending to that which had piled up during the week. Piles of laundry, paper, magazines, sandy memories of walking from the street into the house. Once the dishwasher was “BaToosh BaTooshing” I got the laundry going “Ftttlt FttltFttlting” and Cameron was on the vaccume cleaner “whoaaa whoaaa whoaa”.

When the surfaces were oiled the crevices free of grit and the fluff of dust, we sat meditation on impermanance. My mind kept going to the impermanance of clean, the impermanance of  those moments of balance when all seems calm, the impermanance of dirty snow and dead dried plants sticking through the unavailable soil. It all changes. Mist, sound, clouds, breath. Our lives, our nations, our planet swirling from one shape to another.

And then my mind went, inevitably to problem solving. Do.  Do. My mind has me in its grip. I have decided that I can create a video projected as Rian does that morphs images like Matthias’ work into a final image reminiscent of Jean Francois’ work. It was a thought.
You can buy propecia tablets in big browse for info now cheap cialis quantities and avail of the home delivery service when you buy propecia online without a prescription. Much chronic pain is due to electrical polarity patterns in the cialis canadian prices body that are distorted from the natural, harmonious polarity pattern (positive midline, more negative at extremities). It is found that regular massaging of this oil will repair and heal the weak penile nerves and improve the erection, and tadalafil from india makes a man unable performing well in the bed, it is always worrisome being affected by a sexual condition. Dosage also has a significant role in the levitra without prescription ED drugs with the 100mg strength.
Following a plan seems almost impossible for us since we are so project based. Things cycle through our lives so perhaps for us to contemplate impermanance is not such a stretch. A project done is ejected into deep space. Our eyes now alight on another goal.

Depletion of resources is the core difficulty. How does one remain productive, expansive, curious when the body and mind are contracted and still with fatigue? Creativity relies on a certain ease with self. Go back to the well. Find the oasis within. That is the discipline.

Remaining at rest results from knowing that there is no remaining. Interesting….