February Heart of Darkness

Once a woman who worked in a doctor’s lab told me that more tests were run in the month of February than the other 11 months combined. The sun has disappeared from the Okanagan Valley, the excitement of Christmas is over and the flu has hit many.

For those who don’t have a “big date” occasion on valentine’s day, the days just unwind slowly until warmth returns. It is easy to live life looking forward. Programming expectation. Watching from the shore. Falling through time.

I am still trying to find a way of being that is not passive and recuperative. I know a bad breakup can take two years to recover. But the timer has gone off. It is ringing or dinging or singing. Wake up. Get up. Take a risk.

I am back into working out and eating more carefully. Green smoothies with lots of kale and spinach are actually good. Tofu and fish are the main protein sources. Lifting weights is starting to build back muscle again. Sitting meditation has become automatic and I have begun going for a short walk afterward.

On the night of the full of the moon, I made a new vision board with my new life pictured on it. It feels good to wake up and see it the first thing in the day.

My full moon vision board

I have a table at Eco Tone festival in the Rotary Centre on Saturday night, will submit one piece to the member’s show at Lake Country. Brew Gallery in Vernon is having a Valentine’s show and I have three pieces going into Sopa Galleries Under 8 show in April 4th to April 14th.

I am taking my second class through the Centre for Spiritual Living and working out of Calling in the One. So much is arising. I am seeing patterns and making discoveries about myself. The failure to be parented in a safe manner has left its mark in my relationship with myself. I get it now and I am learning how to be kind to me.
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There are times when I feel a flood of love for all of those I know. It is a powerful moment that stops time. I think of those who have looked at me with affection, of those who have said kind things, brought me a cup of tea, opened a door, listening to me when I was falling apart. It is such a gift. And I understand it now.

My heart opens when I sing in choir. I dissolve into a beautiful open place where there are no limits. It is ecstatic. Reciting poet

I will be reading at the Kelowna Public Library on Feb 13th and on March 2nd I will be reciting at the Lake Country Art Gallery. Other public poetry readings that come up in the next few months are great opportunities to practice and present my new works.

Getting back “on calendar” has been an adjustment. I have been floating in deep space for the last few years and now I want back in… back into life.

Where do I go next? The fact Naropa’s low residency program has shut down means I have to relay plans. There is so much I want out of life, my new books published, the chance to help others, the presence of the beautiful healthy man who will be my life partner…. it is all just out there. Somewhere beyond February there burns a light.

Whence Goest Thou? Huh?

Really. It has been a month since I posted. Whaat has happened?

First the public protest to save the Cedar Creek properties along the lake shore as a Park for those in the future who will reside in one of the most densely populated areas in Kelowna. Then attending various meetings as a representative of the North End Resident’s Association took some time.


Hefting art in and out of Five local shows was also a focus. I was pleased that my piece London Lights sold at the Sopa Under 8 show.

Only two shows still remain on view. One is the abstract geometrics at the Blood Collection Agency on Dillworth Road and the second are the three works in the Myths and Legends show.

The garden has taken much of my focus and energy. As life returns to the soil, I return to life and become dirty. Black feet marks across the floor leading in from the open door.
I painted the front steps and the back deck. I have planted, weeded and mulched the beds. The tulips are dancing jovially across the yard with their yellow, pink, red petals painting the air.

They are truly the happiest of flowers. Not just because of their appearance after the terminal loneliness of winter but their very nature is celebratory. Not too complex, enameled and architectural in form, they are a pleasure to the eye. These are not timid expressions of promise.

The furnace shafts toyed with by the local raccoons and their deviating ways have been repaired. The furnace was leaking, the hot water heater out of sorts.

So one asks where do the days go. Taking care of “the estate” is an act of devotion and stamina. Currently the entire backyard is aglow with the yellow of dandelions. There must be thousands. It reminds me of the poppy fields in the Wizard of Oz. The sight of them makes me feel sleepy.
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There is the rigorous approach. Should I want to be swept immediately to heaven upon my demise, I will take out “the tool” and dig up every root. A less rigorous solution would be to use the weed eater and slow the process of seed head formation. Using the weed eater is always fun no matter how many black spots of bruising I sport afterward. It is primal in its gratification.
Or, and here is the indolent solution, I could wait for hot weather to simply kill them as it does every year. No water. Too much sun. Dead.
I am probably incapable of the last two alternatives but I like to delude myself that I am making a choice.

The federal election is over and my over-zealous postings on Face Book of every damning article in the Globe and Mail, CBC or Provincial newspaper articles on Harper’s controlling, draconian methods have ceased. I do what I can to educate others from my FB and Twitter pulpits. We move forward we mere 60% that didn’t vote for Harper and will keep our eyes open for what next convolutions of chicanery will be forthcoming. For someone who is not political, I certainly spend a lot of energy being political.


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My book on LuLu has garnered many thumbs up and I have sold copies both on the site and to local people. I need to investigate how to create some poetry readings in Kelowna so that I can market this anthology.

A couple of pieces of art that I donated for Artists for Japan had many bidders and that is gratifying. On Thursday I pick up the piece from Carrie Harper who organized the event, contact the winner and collect the money. At that point, I will donate it to the Red Cross Japanese Disaster fund.

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Also, I have been creating and producing a vision which appeared to me during meditation. The Fun Fancy Flash Mob to raise funds for the Elizabeth Fry Society came to me when I heard a friend’s voice say, “I never get a chance to wear that evening dress I bought in San Francisco.” So now all of these beautiful people in their tuxedos and tiaras will appear at Jim Stuart Park to strut to some recorded music. Four camera over seen by the local filmmaker Jason Woodford will capture the event. Only 30 minutes of glory from 2 until 2:30 will await these red carpet adventurers. I am really pumped about the event. The link for the event is on Facebook should you want to investigate.

In addition, on Saturday our neighbourhood is having a garage sale so I am going through all I own and putting the treasures for someone else out on Saturday morning for the Block Garage Sale. It starts at 9.
Between that event, the Fun Fancy Flash Mob on Sunday and the garden, it will be a furious and fascinating weekend.

Artist’s Exhibitions

Kelowna Artist Cherie Hanson is exhibiting works from her spectrum of explorations.

Mixed Media pieces are on display at the Unitarian Fellowship Hall on Bertram until May 1. The show Elegant Europe includes various photographs from her exhibition in Florence in 2007. The images began as photographs, were manipulated with computer filters and painted with acrylic paint and India ink brushes. Display is open to the public when the hall is open.

The artist’s geometric abstracts are on view at the Kelowna Blood Bank 1865 Dilworth. These bright images have a shifting of foreground, mid-ground and background to challenge the viewer’s sense of perspective. Works are on display through out the month of April.

Vernon Coffee house Bean to Brew hosts Okanagan Digital Artist’s exhibition until May 1st. Cherie has three images currently in the show.

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Thursday, April 7th is the opening reception for Sopa Gallery Under 8 show in which Cherie has three small pieces on the gallery walls and a large piece which can be viewed upon request.
The artist’s work can also be downloaded from LuLu. For $9.97 36 pages of poetry with brilliantly colored art can be printed out or downloaded as an ebook. Go to http://www.lulu.com/product/ebook/facing-it-2010-to-2011-poetry-posted-on-facebook/15105587

self portrait using filters

pictures of colored straws at the movie theatre