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As I push on through the deadlines and find the last six weeks of furious activity becoming a memory, I can only step back and watch myself. My mind has come to relish the adrenalized existence. Even as I was worn down physically and exhausted from lack of sleep there was that sense of purpose, the wonderful sensation of living full out that resulted in a sense of heightened living. For a workaholic to have a task that has to come in on deadline which is defined by others as impossible is a dream come true. The excuse for kicking up the adrenale glands and diving into the “rush” that comes from moving quickly, of lifting heavy things, of reaching, crawling, squatting, driving onesself is so compelling that the calm afterward is deadly. I find that my mind keeps reaching for something else to put me back on the Merry Go Round.

On the other hand, my body is tired and I awoke with a migraine and the accompanying nausea. How one can feel both becalmed and overwhelmed at the same time is fascinating. I have begun sitting meditation again to quiet the anxiety demon that works in my brain and also to make my day more orderly. So often I am like a cat chasing string. Whatever is pulled across my path causes me to shift focus and off I go patting my paw out trying to capture the thread. If I could ever focus my prodigious energy and surprising stamina, I believe that amazing results would occur.

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Last night we watched MONGOL a movie which is a historical fiction about Gengius Khan. The acting was superb, the story engrossing and the special effects….gross. It was a two hour journey in Kazastan and the bleakness of the landscape was stunning.

Today I attend a meeting of tenants in  the Rotary Centre, help my husband finish the hallway area, mow the lawn, prepare some works for clients who are buying art for their new house and make some handmade books for examples of what students can create in my class on the 25th. As soon as I get them done, I will put them up on this site for all to see. I really enjoy making elaborate cards and hand made books.