The holding in place a space
my body inhabits so solid this anchoring self.
I am an animal of culture and inculcation.
The impact geography of my childhood,
my alliances, my institutional experiences
sometime trap.

upcoming poetry readings

I saw the Tom Cruise film recently called OBLIVION and it gave me pause.

First, yes Tom’s various manifestations as characters in movies are all just a clone of himself. So many exact reproductions of the hyper-kinetic energy of his personality invested with a script build around it and differing costumes are given an enscripted name.

Next I moved my mind over to the idea that always draws me. I am amazed at how much I dwell in simple three dimensional feed back, tethered to a reality construct that I cannot release.

We are a reflection of reflections. Either cultural or of the mind.

My whispering Ate spirit is my constant companion. She tells me things that keep me imprisoned.

One of the spells she weaves is of proximity. “You are better off submitting to local galleries,” she tells me. “You will find a love who lives close to you.” “You will achieve the artistic power you deserve by reading poetry locally, by submitting writing locally.”

Even after reading dozens of books and articles about Quantam Physics and the illusion of competition; even after taking classes in science of mind for two years; even after my four Shamanic retreats and daily meditation my mind locks onto appropinquity, juxtaposition, contiguousness, adjacency.

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the romance of desolation draws the broken to it

The surface terrain tells us that having a lottery ticket one number out from the big win means we are close. It translates to interior self talk that someone in a black Toyota dying on the highway means one must be careful when driving his or her Toyota on that same highway.

There is so much primitive grief embedded in the concept of nearly real. If it is next to me, it is more likely.

Lately I have been working with my attachment to the Proximity Myth.

There is another dynamic which is arising. However deeply I feel something, however far into my body, my essence, my heart, my imagination the more likely that energy is to manifest in my life.

So standing next to someone who seems to hit the jackpot is not the answer. Neither is it the answer to believe that a local gallery is more likely to appreciate what I create. Locality is not reality.

finding the bright steady centre

My work is to see my mind bind and start cutting the threads. When do I stand up fully in who I am? The work is now, for me in this time, to find the work. The work is now, for me in this time, to use discipline and reckless abandon equally and trust that I do not need to see the road to travel upon it.

Gumball
slot machine world
take a chance.
If I can touch the thing
and find the slot
Bingo baby
Payout
filling both my hands.