I have been dealing with the pervasive, invasive panting existence of the “real” world. Getting the old, stained, stuck, peeling of paint, putty loosening windows to continue functioning reached the end of the story recently.
“How much longer can you live with this frustrating, compromising scare-city mindset situation?”
Well, for the windows, basically 24 years. I re-puttied the panes of glass with a kitchen knife, cleaned as far up the glass as my hand would reach, and struggled the warped inner layer open during the 41 Celsius heat summers for 24 years.

I kept waiting for more money to come in; for just the right time; for my struggle scenario to stop because that would be the time to put an end to it.

In my Firestarter’s women’s group I asked my friends, “Should I get new windows. Is it time?”

They said,” yes” and so I did.

The grimy, chipped, leaking air windows with caught spiders between the inner and outer layers are now gone.

The Home Hardware crew put in a new fan over the stove and ended up having to pay additional money to get electricity to it. The extra cost triggered the old ‘dying in the alleyway of exposure and hunger’ fear.

Thinking about spring and getting the car out for longer trips, sent me to the mechanic for an oil change. It ended up being $1,400. The battery was gone and the steering thing a ma jiggy was mal functioning.

Then I broke a front tooth on soft toast.

Three weeks ago my furnace stopped starting or started stopping. I tried to plug in an electric heater and an entire wall of plug ins stopped working. I spend days flipping switches on the panels.

My internet began habitually dropping out. So I went on Youtube to watch what for me is someone speaking Urdu. You go here, you click this, then you go here, and set this up.

“Stop,” I want to yell. I could feel myself like Alice in Wonderland shrinking after taking the smallerizing pill. I literally felt like a confused child unable to reach the doorknob.

However, this is the age when one is also down with sexual issues. Get More Info cialis online sildenafil tabs So the real manliness is characterized by how hard get and how long you can perform in bed. Ed has been female viagra 100mg responsible for lots of family quarrels, community status downfall and not to take the medicine without instructions. price of levitra Erectile dysfunction can be described as a health condition where a lady lacks sensual feeling. It was time to seek help. I got the window replaced by a Home Hardware crew. A new actually functioning fan went over the stove. My car can now travel without the steering suddenly becoming possessed. I have a newly constructed front tooth.

I called my neighbour who is a certified furnace magician. He came over, looked at the metal sculpture with surgical concentration. He then removed the front panels which always causes me to gasp in wonder. And did something to make it come on again.

So now after almost three weeks I have heat.

The physical world, keeps butting up against my urge to be a floating mote creature.

In a few minutes, another friend is coming by to see what entities have possessed my internet.

Today, I am feeling more optimistic. But it has been a land of torpor alternating with turmoil lately.

So maintaining those things around me: the car, the furnace, the windows, the internet is vital. The problem I now sit here facing is that I do not know what else needs on going preventative care? It does not even register in my field.

Becoming an adult

But that is a good place to be, right? Coming to a point of wanting to know what I have not known is growth.

Sitting in a house with heat is like taking an anti-depressant.

A life has so many moving parts. And there is so much to learn. I am grateful for those who have skills that I lack and help me to keep my racing car on the road. The pit crew is so necessary.

I did my receipts and took them to the accountant. I told her that I could see exactly where I had messed up in my choices.

I was so proud.

“I think I am becoming an adult,” I told her.