I know it is a highly competitive topic to discuss. Some experts in distraction excel when they are mere children and go on to spent a lifetime honing their skills. But the spectacular presence of screens has taken the inability to focus and work toward goals to a new, unforeseen level.

Focus was never my problem. I was born with what I called my Obessive fairy over my shoulder. My brother who arrived on earth when I was four years eight months old once said to me that I was never a child. And to be fair I do remember lining my teddy bears up in chairs in front of an easel blackboard. They were wonderful students and sat glassy eyed as I told them information that would be necessary for them going forward in their plush existences.

Books held my attention for most of my life. I had a path straight forward in my reading landscape. The book I am reading now I put at the head of my bed so I could grab it automatically as soon as I get into bed. And next to that book would be a pile in intentional order of where I plan to go next in my imagination. As I got older, I purposefully selected long books because the sense of grief and emptiness that came when the book ended was so upsetting to me. There was always a feeling of death when I closed the back cover.

I would lay outside on the lawn and read. I would recline on a rock next to the summer swimming hole and read. I would sit in long car trips and read.

And then we purchased a TV and I began watching a series of Shakespearean plays. I watched ballet and opera. Returning to my books immediately after the show was my pattern.

Gradually, I fell in thrall to the screens. It began with my desk computer and migrated to the laptop. When I travelled, I had the iPad.

I began to watch newsreportage on a screen and migrated from biographies held in my hands with their hard covers and promises of weeks of accompanying a person on his or her life.

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My habits of watching passively while others are pasting memes and quotes and quips is massive. At the end of some days, I ask, “What happened to time?”

It was spent. But it was spent foolishly. And like a person who tries to carry water in two cupped hands… it just spills through my fingers.

The five year old person, the sixteen year old person who be shocked and appalled at how much time flows through my life with nothing to show for it.

But, I argue back, “Everyone does it.” We are all lulled into numb staring and somehow feel that something was accomplished.

I observe myself. I reset my short term goals. I start again. Screen addiction is a deeply ingrained habit. I will start with baby steps. And let us see where that goes.

Wish me luck.