Inquiry, we are told, leads to clarity. We stand back and observe and ask the question: “Why am I thinking that thing?” And then we ask: “Why am I asking myself why I am thinking that thing?”

Yesterday, perhaps it was the blood moon pulling at me, I found myself in a deeply philosophical state. I was looking at the reality I have created in my current life. Somewhere between your feet construct the fit of the shoes and the shoes constrict the spread of your feet, I just stood still.

I have had a deep well of loneliness for as long as I have conscious memory. And probably extending back before the transition into clear thinking. Outlier. The one who has a finely honed antenna cannot expect validation for the impressions of energy received. The validation only comes in the future.

As I felt the gut punch of hearing about the aids epidemic for the first time in 1981.. I went into the teachers’ staffroom and shared my despair for what was about to come. I spoke about the plague, the wide swath of death. I spoke about the change of everything we had know about sexual contact since the early days of death from syphilis. And all around me told me to calm down.

But I was used to that response. In 1968 when Nixon was elected I stood in front of the television and wept. Others around me were unaware of the draconian evil that would become a part of the political life of the United States. I kept saying, “He is so evil.” And they kept drinking beer and dismissing me.

Separation and not expecting others to see what I see, or feel what I feel is a life long coping strategy for me. But being comfortable with not being comfortable, what has that cost me?

I look at my current life and ask the question: What do you need to feel supported? And I am as usual in a debate in my own mind. The old story of separation and protection arises. The old song lyrics of not expecting much from others croons in my mind.

At a viagra 25 mg http://frankkrauseautomotive.com/?buy=8760 time that was unthinkable, today, that is possible. What you should do before taking levitra online order for personal use. In doing so, we often end up losing our interest in intimacy. cheap levitra generic Prior taking the dose it would be purchasing viagra better if you consume the product daily. At one time I was terribly ill with pneumonia and lost 20 lbs in three weeks. No one called. No one asked after me. No one reached out to me. It was because my habit of being tough, of not expecting nurturance or support constructed that event. It has been a life long projection.

So the central question I am looking at in this mad strobe light flickering energy on the earth right now is , “what is real?”

Am I isolated because I have been isolated? Is it fear of others? Or is it because I have little or no experience of connecting with others who can receive messages and read energy?

What does connection look like to me? What does the warm effortless floating of support look like to me?

At issue is the entire question of how satisfied I have been to live without intellectual conversation, without quick, educated minds around me. I have denied myself sustenance because I am used to not having it.

I have grown comfortable with being uncomfortable.

And so I question everything. And what I keep hearing is, “Question nothing.” Just see what you have created and trust that you are ready to grow. Accept what is. Accept what is becoming. Find a way through that tangled forest of thought to a place of opening. And then, can you shut up and dance/