When I do readings for people at the psychic fair, I often see metaphors. The person who is starting a new business, I see as someone sitting on an egg hatching it. The person who is transforming so quickly they can’t get a footing I see in a twisting wind like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. I have never met that person before and I know nothing about them. I ask them not to speak. But I know with absolute clarity what they need to understand.

The metaphors are clear images and hold the truth that the client needs to hear and so I use words to show them the vision. I trust the vision. Fifty years of being open and sharing what it is I see and hear has lead me to this place of utter confidence in the truth I am receiving.

At first, I refused to say they were “mine”. The language I used was that the channel brought them to me. That some universal knowing was filtered through me. But as I become more and more grounded in my own life, I no longer was afraid to say that I saw and heard and knew these things.

Years of semi-isolating myself, of watching my own thoughts and behaviors have made me less afraid of being judged. Years of meditation practice, of sitting silence, of chanting with Krishna Das, of chanting Buddhist prayers, of sitting Ho’onoponopono practice have resulted in a more solid connection to who I am.

And I think the main advantage of the journey inward is to no longer fear how I appear. What I wear, which group accepts me, what is expected of me by others no longer has any tug on my heart. I have always been an oulier from very early on in my life.

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But that created a struggle in me. They seek success. I seek to help others. I seek to teach. The difference in values between myself and others was excruciating when I was ten or sixteen or twenty.

Now I have settled down. I have settled into what I am. And the most wonderful aspect of going within to connect to a bigger life is that I no longer watch my words. I no longer edit what I say. The words find their way to create exactly what needs to be said. All of life is easier for me now that I take responsibility for how I move in the world.

I see visions which are metaphors. I speak the truth I see. I am finally leaving adolescent anxiety about not fitting into any congregations of individuals who form a collective band of belief. My job is to stay grounded, to stay out of fear and hiding and to submit to the gifts I have always had since earliest memories. I no longer hide.