Recently, I had a spate of disruptions in my communications with airbnb guests. Most had to do with new guests who simply did not know how to use the site.

I, as always, watched my reaction. Perhaps because it is hot and the air quality is crappy, perhaps because I did not take my “medications” which are mostly vitamins, perhaps because I have been on slow mode lately with sitting on the deck and relaxing, I was so much less than mindful.

WTF! I thought. Three people in two hours are making mistakes and blaming me for it. One guest I grabbed at the door. “Gentle, gentle”, I said to myself. I asked to see his phone and the airbnb app.

“There,” I pointed to his thread of communication on airbnb. “There is the message I sent you.” He claimed I had not sent it.

Wow. I was just reacting. I chose to feel frustrated and blaming. I chose to ask why the hell three people were not understanding how communication works on the site in two hours.

Today as I made the beds, did laundry, cleaned the house, and tended to the garden I was calmer and more reflective.

“What were you supposed to learn?” I asked myself.

What if I am attached to my expectations that I don’t need to repeatedly explain every detail to my guests. Does any variance from that smoothly running process over the past years need to cause me to flare?

So the expectations were the problem. The people were not the problem. I was.

I know full well that most are confused and anxious at the present time. My role as a host is to look quietly at how I can be in a place of service to others who are over whelmed. And the chaotic responses have amplified in the last two years. Reservations being made, altered, cancelled, and made again seems to be the new normal.
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So I stepped back and dropped the attachment to blame, anger, expectations.

What if I cannot possibly know what else is going on in a guest’s life?

I had a reassessment of how I use the site and decided that I needed to check in every time I gave a guest information. I need to ask, “Please indicate that you have received and understand the information that I sent.”

Asking for them to validate the address, the place they are to park, that they have received the door code does not protect me from chaotic, confusion, entitled behavior. Those are what can come with dealing with the public. But at least I have not left someone feeling unsure about what they need to do.

People no longer read the agreement that they sign on facebook by checking a box. After eight years of operating an airbnb, I have seen in the last three years that a person can say proudly and loudly, “Oh I never read those agreements.”

The society has shifted. New relationships to rules, laws, authority are formulating. And my job is to not rail against the shift but rather as gracefully as possible do what I can to help others be more secure as they use the site.

The very fact that this problem came up with three different people in two hours even though I had specifically built my host page to avoid them, means I need to adjust to the system shifts.

Attachment, expecting perfection from them or from me simply doesn’t work.

The mind is like a garden and must constantly be weeded.

And as today’s guest left and said, “The problem was all my fault,” I felt so good.