The mind builds a monolith of disparities. The fear of losing our senses or using our senses drives us to shut ourselves down. The fragile fragments of reality are not something we can touch or hold in the hand. Like the image at the edge of the eye, we feel the greater appear peripheral, unclear.

There is a shifting of even the shifting to moments of utter quiet or unexpected chaos.

Breath is not one thing. Each intake is a new expierience. Air touches the body, the ribs unfold uniquely each time.

We awaken to the breath. It awakens us. We hold it. It is an embrace.

We are terrified of messy. We pick up the beige labeled folder. It is the office-like organization of everything we are taught in order to clutch and stuff the separating moments into a cardbiard cover. This thing is this thing. This hour is held in the rigidity of defined limitation.That time is shut between the covers flattened on purpose and closed away.

We have no language with which to open our minds. From our first steps into the world of words we are told our limits. The words change us, They limit us. They act as spells cast upon all that we see, touch, hear, feel. Instead of softening into the moment to moment shifts, we choose instead to look for the weighty hold of an objectification. If we can control what we experience, collapse it and fold it in, we will be safe. We are taught this.

Once in a while we understand the once in a while. These epiphanies appear even in the most mundane of lives.

I have taken a step into a dark sky, gray mind day.

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One time I was running the circle in the same habit wheel of the everyday. Around and around each day watching the familiar bars tread past. This time, I sat in the sunshine under the freshly hung laundry. I found stillness as I opened to the air.

My arms were unmoving on the arms of the chair. I was nowhere. A butterfly landed on my bare forearm and turned to look at me. I saw into its eyes as it grew as still as I was.

We looked into one another. There was no time, nor story. There was no reason or purpose.

I forgot myself and felt the opening.

A breath is no thing. An hour is no thing. A life is no thing. Just sitting quietly with the eyes of a butterfly watching me was the beginning.