Like a martial drum beating, the sounds of shuffling feet from some invading army still unseen over the hillside, we can hear it. There is a sense of a lined up, designed, patterned chaos that is coming at us. We don’t have words for it. We don’t have words for the shivering anticipation that we are feeling in our bodies. And like a person in an abusive relationship, many individuals have become overwhelmed and collapse in a heap.

“What can I do?” we ask. “How can I stop any of it?” we cry out on social media.

The battered wife is so exhausted by just dealing with the next and the next inevitable attack that she loses the ability to remain in even a fight or flight stage. That was months ago. That sense of urgency of activity is long sense gone for most of us. We are now just frozen.

My brother and I used to play frozen rag on the front lawn on summer nights. He would grab my arm and fling me into the darkness and as soon as a car came past flooding the moving person with light, we had to stand in place. The car’s headlight were a ray that made us into an inhuman stone-like form. I remember holding on tight to the paralyzed shape that the sudden headlight rays had created of me.

If we fell or could not keep our balance, we were dead. The lawn had transformed into some lethal contact zone that would dissolve our very person.

As I scan the social media posts and see 500 fires in California, dismantled post offices, the history of the connection to beauty obliterated in the Rose Garden at the white house, two tornados headed to the south, and locally two fires nearby creeping the hillsides, I feel like that child on the lawn. I have been thrown. I am off balance and moving through the darkness. The sudden flash of car lights would freeze me in space. I don’t want to be frozen in this time.

Can I keep my balance? Can I find a way to hold my shape, my person, my hopes without falling on the dark ground?

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Someone said on social media, “What can happen next?”

His friend answered, ” Don’t even ask that question.”

So now we need to reconnect to the sense of our own bodies; the bottoms of our feet where we can stand; the small decisions in our daily lives. We have our breath; our practices of self-care; our intentions.

And as the loud sounds of the cracking walls of the old system fill our space, we are called on to trust. The only thing left is to trust that we have the ability to stay undisturbed and centred. We have the ability to disconnect from the childlike urgency of expecting more powerful people to protect us. We have this opportunity to strengthen the sense that the universe supports us.

We choose our actions. We choose our emotions. We choose to stay focused on becoming the person we desire to be. It is more difficult when there are no pats on the back, no outside validation routines. But there is also greater freedom. Having the structure collapse means that we are now not walled in with rules and rewards. We choose to not be thrown across the black night lawn and frozen in fear by the next event.

We seek out our own expression of self. And throughout history, we know for a fact that following chaotic events such as plagues, the collapse of nations and warfare, there is a period of great creativity. New social classes emerge, new forms of artistic expression, new methodologies and cosmologies are created. And it is because of those who choose to see an opportunity arising as the old restrictions fall away.

Refuse to be flung off balance and forced into a state beyond action. You are creating a new way of life. Dare to trust yourself.