The Interlude

In my life there have been periods where I believed some new manifesting was underway and there was a sense of portentousness. At other periods I have experienced only a languidness like that experienced by an over-indulged southern Belle aesthetically trailing her vacuousness along a sumptuous love seat on the veranda. The surrounding circumstances like an oppressive heat created the most elegant nihilism of all. Moving here or there appeared to be pointless a simply staging for visual effect.

But the break, the disconnect, the hungry seeking for a yawning gap creates an interlude. It happens before something and it is a black line demarking the ending of a particular patterning in my life.

I am away from myself at the present time. I have closed the doors on my business for the upcoming months and flew up north to Houston, B.C. to spend time with my daughter and her family. I return to renew my connection to my daughter and get to know her three girls.
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Consciously displacing myself signals to me that this is the birth of new identity. After eight years of running an airbnb and being focused on paying off my debt, I am done.

What now? I have dreams. I have goals that have been put out of sight in the back shed. But most pervasive is the sense that this time, however long it extends, is a retreat from that which was.

When I stand up into the new energy, when I am driven by a passion again everything will be clear. But for now, the intermission allows me clarity. Not knowing is always the starting point.