While four pieces of my art are enjoying the relative warmth of Ferrar, Italy, I am here scraping the ice off of the sidewalk. However, the brilliant, clean sunlight coming in the windows and doors is sending visions of being able to move to Edmonton into my brain. I can live with the -27 degrees, I tell myself. I can live with the sun and moon reflecting off of snow. The jewel like ground holds beauty in every crevice.
What is soul destroying is gray, gray skies, gray air, gray vistas. The interior of houses feeling like caves and energy as well as optimism sinking into the winter gray bog of despair.
I have a 5 by 7 foot image that I am preparing for a furniture store in town. Having sent the Christmas presents off and most of the cards I can now concentrate on my art. The next step is to complete this work and then I can begin to publicize my classes with renewed vigor. Teaching is such a joy for me. Learning as much from my students as I manage to teach, is the usual result. So often a question sends me into a new direction. The wall is a door.
Yesterday we had some bad luck or results from steps not taken, however one wants to phrase it. The “new” car needs the head gasket replaced and the cost was estimated at $2,500. We can’t manage that. Then the refrigerator died, shortly after the protective tent over the construction wood collapsed and broke.
At least all three are out of the way. We almost had four because we forgot to turn the heat back on after we were listening for the refrigerator to breathe. The house was 52 this morning but luckily no pipes burst.
Lack of focus is often the biggest devil in our lives. I have made so many mistakes from simply not paying attention. Sunday in our Dharma group we were reading Ken Macleod’s differentiation of awareness and mindfulness… but I had trouble keeping my mind on it.
So often the careful, structural analysis of things which are scientific sounding have no reverberation for me. I intuit. I feel. I have a gut response, or a flash. Breaking things down into steps, mincing logical discussions just feels like a weight and confuse me. I am mindful enough to watch this process in myself and aware enough to know how much others seem to seek structure to give them control over ideas.
The images of Trevisan that Paola sent through are wonderful. If only my art could talk!
Cameron stretched the new canvas for me and put on the hardware. I cleaned up his studio for him this morning. What one finds difficult, the other find simple. Having a team is a strong position.
Don’t be afraid of the severe winter in Kelowna. The sky is fantastic with its 100 shades of blue. Step out into it. Take the hand of your partner/love and enjoy what is.