How can one tend the garden?

wallpaper design Blue ferns

wallpaper design Blue ferns

blizzard, snow, wind tearing across the surface left the road looking like sand dunes along the coast of Oregon. Only these snow dunes were on our street. I am preparing work for the Okanagan Erotic Art Show and images for Tuesday nights Central Okanagan Photographers Society presentation. The Artist’s Eye in Europe is a challenge because I have close to 5,000 images and I need to select out those that stand up to scrutiny. Many of the images taken with my inexpensive Elf had to be taken in only excellent conditions. Night time shots are not effective and shots with something in the foreground when the intended subject was in the background are problematic.

Yesterday we totally cleaned out the pantry which is considered the “health” area for fung shui. If that is health, I don’t know why we weren’t both in an iron lung like they had in the 50’s. My goodness, gracious.

By evening we had the pantry clean, had thrown out all of the pans and appliances that we no longer use and had the kitchen cleaned up. The last two days we have returned to meditation practice and it is helping. Tonight we will go to the gym. Trying to keep the mind focussed on what really needs to be done is difficult.

This is a fun image. It has hedge hog fur on a star

This is a fun image. It has hedge hog fur on a star

If I gardened the way I live, I would have flowers all over the property. I would begin beds of lavendar, lilac, panties, roses, beans all at once. I would not weed or water. It would be the activity of gardening rather than the planning and tending that would be important. Chaos and fertility would produce a tangle of plants.

My poor daffodils and crocus were beginning and now they are under the snow. But we do have sun. Today we have sun.

pink yellow damask design

pink yellow damask design

Today I will tend to my submissions garden and get the bed planted and watered. And then I can walk away and think about the next task. Multi-tasking is the recipe for cake soup or coleslaw tuna casserole with popcorn. It just doesn’t make sense.

This was an open source original Victorian

victorian aluminum foil image

I will tend my garden one bed at a time, circling back to weed occasionally. Maybe, today I will even take time to look at what seeds I have sown in my life.

Ross Freake, Stan Chung and weeding my web site, Dharma practice

There is so much impacting in my life. Tasks, objects that I have collected, ambitions, old habits of drama that I wish were old habits of Dharma practice. After another visit to emergency and a night with pain killers dripping into my veins after four tries to insert the IV, I am again in recovery mode.

The residual scaring from my cancer surgery seems to be the cause. Just as it is the residual scarring from my childhood that leaves me feeling alone, embattled, frantic and constantly trying to control life. What a futile and pathetic waste of energy. The ability to begin with self and give oneself a strong physical basis for all action, is a spiritual practice.

I keep likening my body to a horse. “I want to get it under me,” I sob into the felted paper tray I am given in the hospital to vomit into for five hours, ” I want to ride with my body in ease.” But I keep returning to debilitating states of exhaustion and recovery.

As I was pruning back the stubborn thorn tree that I mistakenly thought was a good idea because it presented itself as a rose bush, I reflected on the process. I tried to dig it out but the roots were too wide and deep. Lacking the physical strength and the place to stand to leverage the amazingly lethal plant out of my garden, I have adapted the strategy of pruning. First I prune for others. I cut back the razor thorned branches where they will tear at strollers and senior citizens walking past my fence. Next I prune for the other roses. I cut back where a more benigh, less exotic rose bush was planted.

As it loses strength, I am now able to prune it back for me. Cutting the weakening branches in this third year of work, I can begin to see that there is space to plant the giant Lupines that I love. The deep blues and purples harken back to another, gentler time when tall stems of flowers stood in an English garden or Victorian settings. It is a time and a style that holds my heart.

So like the rose bush, I have to learn to be patient with myself and my habits. Congratulating myself for every minor pruning for every small change.

This morning, I was victorious. Insteady of cleaning the house and weeding the spam of 50 chances to gamble from the comments on my web site, I drug my screaming ego out the door and went for a walk. Only 30 minutes, I promised the ego that clung to the threshold of the doorway. I dug my fingers off of the molding and out I went.

The trees in the early morning light were luminous and transformed my spirit. I met a silly cat that followed my progress up “her” alley by sticking her head through the square holes in the lattice spaces one after another monitoring my walk. An old dog, blind in one eye was glad to see me… however he saw me.

Then when I got home, I pruned that gothic rose bush, weeded my web site and fed my blog.

I am so grateful that the media carries columns by Ross Freake and Stan Chung. These two spiritual practitioners provide the public with a gentle call. The chance to awaken and observe self is now in the popular media. It is a sign.

We need nurturance, pruning and the ability to weed out from our lives…well you know what is growing in your own garden. If you don’t, stop running and walk around for a look.Ego, repetition and frustration