February has the ability to put us into a thrall hypnotic state of dull dissatisfaction. My mother shared with me the statistical data she had collected when working for a laboratory that tested people to see what malaise was at work in their bodies. February, she informed me, had just as many blood, urine, saliva tests as the proceeding eleven months all together.

The humanly shared urge to solve “the problem” hits the population in the North American dark sky cities in the most desperation. Why do I feel as if I am walking in a bog, or a tar pit? Why do I see my interior ability to generate energy declining and my exterior ability to solve problems declining?

When we look out on our psychic landscape it is like a desert. Flatness. No incoming delights; no wandering tribes of goodness coming toward us to set up tents and hold a May Pole dance.

The mind is like a bowling ball. We throw a thought… oh maybe when we are six and it just keeps rolling. The thought just keeps travelling on the same trajectory. We stand in what we see as a wet, gray sun deprived landscape. We stand in what we see as a white, cold, landscape of deterrence. And that tendency for our thoughts to roll on in a negative manner is most difficult in February.

I don’t think in all of my 74 years I have heard one person say, “I can’t wait for February. I love that month.” And Valentine’s day is planted there in that ice and rain and darkness. It is almost as if the depression is not thick enough: Someone decided to add another level.

(If you are interested in a one on one coaching session, contact me at cheriefranceshanson@gmail.com)

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Sickness is more likely to occur in February. My neighbours are falling for it. Meanwhile at home, I sit next to my SAD light, gulping giant spoonfuls of nice cod liver oil. I go into a kind of Medieval villager’s response. I have a cross carved into my door… or at least I want to. My body begins to store fat so I can survive any possible apocalypse. I smudge my body, my house. I sit meditation chanting to clear the dark thought gremlins that try to attach to me. I watch comedies and turn away from the news.

I know it is a time that makes us yearn for another time. My mother told me of her experiences in the laboratory. People want to know why they feel like crap.

February is the month to just survive. We are mammals. We have all of the needs of animals. We are like plants. We thrive on sunlight, human contact, fresh clear water and the desire to look out and see some caravan of happiness working its way toward us.

There will be a May Pole. There will be a celebration of life. Neighbours will be working next to one another in the yard making flowers happen.

But now is a time of learning. When we share a state of darkness, what can we learn? We get to the very point of life and that is knowing full on standing nude in the mirror looking at our undressed souls. What is it I need? It forces us to look. It forces us to create our deeper relationship with ourselves.

February is a desert with fewer distractions. We can see farther. We can see more clearly. What are we learning?