I am sometimes bumped up against the fact that I have a subterranean world, a center of super fire melting with heat all of my experiences into this mass of comic curving and abstraction of the reality I perceive when I am awake. Everything is loaded in and left to burn down to its essence where it will be brilliantly abstracted into some alternative vision that is ridiculously funny.

A while ago, My conscious, goal setting mind decided I needed to support my intention of being more open to men in my life. Looking around, I see that the only men I allow near me are nicely in tandem with women that I trust. I have no single male friends at all. I am happy that my dentist is happily married because he, you know, touches me.

So I set up this goal… kind of like one sets up bowling pins. I could see the separate actions I needed to place in my life in order to hit the sweet spot… the strike, the allowing, the submission, the energy shift. And one of those actions was about reclaiming myself as a sexual being.

I wanted to be able to dress more flirtatiously, I told my counsellor. I want to show the cut, curved muscle in my chest. No. Not my breasts. That would be sheer exhibitionism and attracting attack. No. I wanted to show all of the hard won muscle stretching across my chest.

I think to myself about the script that society expects us to follow, “You go your way, and I will go mine!”

Some of the interesting facts about sildenafil are following: cialis pills free Sildenafil citrate has been used by doctor all over the world. As you are not able to enjoy sex neither sildenafil professional fundacionvision.org.pa satisfy your female you remain tensed and have insecurity of losing your partner to some other man. If the reason behind the problem is your improper lifestyles, then try treating it by avoiding alcohol and smoking and leading a regular and proper life. buy cheap levitra uniqkey% works in sync with all these measures and helps to address the basic causes behind your impotency. levitra is a small blue pill which can do so. These sale levitra kinds of foods have negative impact on the functions of the medicine, so it should not be taken when the user is sexually stimulated. My counsellor laughed loudly. Even after all of our time together, I still blow her mind.

I sat intention working on allowing myself to attract male energy. And then after about a week, I had THE Dream. I woke up in the morning with the taste memory of it still on my mind. Ryan Gosling had told he loved me. I stood facing him and the powerful flow of our mutual love was between us like a horizontal waterfall. We knew that attraction and soft sweet yearning held us together. But he pulled away. He said that he couldn’t leave his beautiful partner and two kids. It was a very difficult decision for him, to leave the stunning loveliness of me, but he just had to.

So I lay in bed thinking, “What the fuck was that! Ryan Gosling? I don’t even feel an attraction to him.” I shook off the crazy night vision and went about my day. My mind constantly amuses me.

Today again, I woke up from a dream that shows my subconscious is working on this new assignment I have given it. I lay flat on my back and carefully held on to the shape of the dream that was trying to leave me as I awakened. I had “taken” the stage like a general takes a Renaissance walled city. I stood claiming all of it as I stood in an amazing dress of beautiful black lace. I planted my feet and with all of the Goddess of Sex energy in my body, I delivered a performance with the force of the most Vampish of movie stars in history . I was channelling Pola Negri, Theda Beara, Greta Garbo, Marlene Dietrich. I held the Sex Goddess persona owning all the power of enthralment. I stood containing that vortex of female energy and delivered the song, “Itsy Bitsy Spider,” to an enraptured audience.

I once again was astounded by the message in my dreams. It is like watching Waiting for Godot as a tap dance routine to observe my mind. I am always surprised by what I am creating in the unseen world. And inevitably, I wake up asking, “What the fuck?”