On facebook I see posts from 2013 reflecting my past to me. What I see is a person who was locked into recovery mode. I made choices. I saw the landscape from my own, particular vantage point. It was by no means the top of the mountain.
My marriage had imploded in 2010 and my massive lesson involved financial loss and impoverishment. My lesson involved recovering from an abdominal plasty and being weak and emotionally gutted.
As I see my posts in 2013, I see a person who is determined. This woman is starting her own business as an airbnb host. She is beginning to work out with weights. She is sitting in her lesson and feeling into it in a deep manner. She yearns for more peace, calm, wisdom and yet she knows she cannot live in it yet.
I liken what is reflected back to me as someone who is unfolding a map. I look it over and select destinations that I dare to put an X upon with no idea of how to get there.
My relationship to her is much like it would be to a much younger self. She is afraid. She has no sense of what is coming to her. She has little sense of how much her childhood has wounded her. But I admire her decision to trust. She takes steps away from the “victim” story and is focused on growing her spirit. She is determined to lift weights, get into her body and create a stronger physical self. She is ferociously and singularly focused on paying off her debt and freeing herself from any taint of negative energy.
As I see her posts coming up on facebook today six years later, I am filled with admiration. She is determined to trust the universe and to believe that her reality and her energy can be shifted. She is not quite sure yet how that can happen. But she takes one step at a time and with those actions creates a pathway under her feet which does not appear until she lifts her foot.
Sometimes we come to believe in quantum physics and the ability to shift reality by the simple act of believing. We recreate everything when we learn to trust.
She is my hero.