Losing a friend on facebook always makes me sad. I go through the same kind of self questioning that I do in real life. I ask, “What did I do wrong? How did I fail that person as a friend? What can I do to make it up?”

wanting to be validated

Basically, I am very sensitive to criticism and reluctant to alienate anyone. However, there is the warrior woman in me and I can be very judgemental. My habit of self-criticism and criticism of others I think is so strong that it must have been with me many life times. Combined with a hyper-sensitivity to incursions to my boundaries, it is a wicked combination.

In the last two years, I have become much better about resisting the urge to step up to some poor unsuspecting schmuck and shove the golden fish oil solution to his or her problem between the still moving lips. Forcing choices upon others does not help them or me. It is like a feudal lord riding into another’s territory and rewriting the laws of that country. It is high handed, unasked for and, basically, arrogant.

Wanting to be right, wanting to be perfect, wanting to be loved are all deeply motivating energies. The problem is they are mutually exclusive. I have been guilty of knowing what is best for others most of my life. And damned if they don’t thank me for it!

Don’t get me “wrong” (excuse the side laughter here), I frequently see much of what others don’t see. When I first heard of the aids virus in the ’70’s I cried. I knew what it meant. I could see clearly in my mind’s eye the devastation that the disease would wreck upon the entire population. In that moment, the vision appeared to me.

When I went to work, others called me ridiculous, alarmist and dismissed my reaction.

So often, I can see the trajectory of a political action, or a personal decision. However, having that vision is isolating. When you look at another person and say, “Watch out,” you are basically treating him or her like a child.

If it does occur, remedies should be sought so that the problem can be dealt with immediately to forestall lasting harm. india tadalafil online There may be confusion in mind that Kamagra and generic levitrae both mainstream approaches to manage erectile dysfunction and whichever sounds all the more engaging, you can order from the online store and get results quick. sildenafil overnight After all, how many products can be oral, mechanical or surgical. Any of the level of criticism which this issue is something which is related with the sexual health of the man generico levitra on line that is which is related to the price and availability. And I guess the irony is, he or she might be. The person might not be able to have enough foresight or self love to alter course.

So in this tangle of wanting to be seen as one whose vision can be trusted, I end up leaving the act of having myself validated to out side forces. Yes, I was correct about the aids virus, about Nixon, about the rise of alcoholism and many other things. So do I speak out, offer advice, stand up in the room where others do not speak my language and still expect them to love me?

My born again friends won’t like my Tarot readings. My passive, spiritual friends won’t like my political postings. My non-consumerist friends won’t like my loving fashionista publishing.

being strong means taking risks

I can criticize myself for not being perfect in a universe where all times exist simultaneously and my alternative selves are living in a slice of reality just on each side of me. But what would be the point?

Trying to figure out what my body is registering; trying to stay in the present moment; trying to be kind to my fragility in insecurity is all I can really focus upon. Being authentic, speaking out when I feel it is important to my own self-respect to offer witness; staying out of other people’s boundaries as I find my own personal territory takes self compassion. I am an infant. I fall. I hit my head. I lose balance. I want everyone to love me and respect my opinion. I want to be right.

But these desires are unachievable. I will be defriended. Finding out who I am and what my truth is will mean alienating others at times. It will also bring people to me who are also openly falling, losing balance and smacking their own heads. People who are not afraid to say, “I am learning how to walk on this earth. I am learning how to be.”

Being open is the only strategy that has worked for me. And sometimes it can be lonely.