When are we finished?

I am moving items from storage to my art studio. Slowly I fill my Nissan to the roof because it is very hot today. Unloading into the studio is much more fun because of the promise of a place to be.

roses, heliopsis add color

While none of the angles in this shed build in 1946 is any longer square,  it offers a haven of authenticity. It does not publicize itself to be modern, clean, a place to accumulate status and a public following as being in the Rotary Centre for the Arts. It is simply a crazy, wonky old shed that will offer some protection from weather. The rustic windows, mismatched doors, plastic encased pink of the fibre glass in the rafters promise little. It is what I make of the place that matters.

new studio old chairs, crazy angles

I love the stone patio made of broken bits of cement from the floor of the shed. I envision vines climbing the side to soften the shape. I visualize my granddaughters making art with me in the studio. I see my loving husband, whoever he will be, sitting in the faux Celtic chairs having a coffee with me on a winter morning.

But for now, I have built it to leave it. In a day or two I will leave the house in the hands of friend who is staying there and go out into the world alone.

It is the first time since I was 38 that I have driven by myself long distances and I vascillate between panic, grief, excitement and exhaustion. Sleep will be important before I leave.
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I have in 6 months, moved my husband out, buried a family member, gotten a separation agreement, put up a retrospective show with over 60 pieces, had the retina detach in my right eye, moved out of the Rotary Centre, taken over an Okanagan College class from another teacher which included driving to Penticton to teach, cleared all of the waste building materials out of the backyard and replanted it, taught ESL students and taught classes for Continuing Studies.

It hasn’t been easy. But one quality I seem to have in my soul, my genetics, my life plan is stamina. While I had to pull off the road while I was crying so hard as to be “impaired”, I got to class on time every day, I filed my income tax in time, I organized all of the rooms in the house.

But the most difficult part of this experience has been learning to NOT run around and work. Learning to take time to reflect, to write, to care for my body, to heal my spirit has been the biggest lesson.

So since December 8th when I had plastic surgery on my abdominal muscles, it has been a climb back. What I am praying for, is that I am actually further up the mountain than I was previously.

I want to be done with bad choices and recovery. I ask the universe to release me from the effects of negative Karma. Whatever I did, I have been spanked and sent to time out. It is enough.

roses are a great gift of summer

To Make Art one must find one’s place

The day began beautifully. Birds were friendly today without the frantic protective snarl the mothers sometimes give the circling crows. It was gentle, the music of the birds.

wall by window is patched scraps of wood very unsquare

I mowed the lawn, weeded, cleaned up the back alleyway and found some more stones to extend the patio outside my studio. After that I half heartedly dug a ditch but soon grew bored with that and moved on to install the two sheets of plywood in my shed which is now a studio.old boards removed out of the "ceiling" to create a storage space
My skills with the saw contradict the name and the crazy cuts and screws shot into the wood trying to hit a stud looked like darts on a board in a very drunken pub.
But they are up and painted.
Afterward I cleaned up the studio, myself, the house and made sticky rice that was sticky. Yeah. The Adzuki beans do not give off a delightful aroma in 85 degree heat but I felt that in for a penny. I would fill the kitchen with steam from several pots cooking.

Change Your Mind sign goes up: Buddhist practice

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three windows from a mobile home on their sides

Last night when I went to Extra Foods by myself, I dressed up as I am wont to do and got a few items.
A man standing at the service counter who looked not insane, had all of his teeth and wasn’t shaking with palsy stepped forward and said, “You are a very handsome woman. Oh that didn’t come out right. I mean you are a very attractive woman.” I thanked him and after I was back in the car I realized I hadn’t taken the opportunity to practice flirting.
I have never flirted, being a straight forward, straight-laced leo raised in a Protestant home. It is on my list of things to learn: flirting, French, the GPS, how to hook up my printer. Not necessarily in that order.
So today was a full day, a satisfying day in which I am one day closer to having the studio set up, the last of the junk out of the yard, the car packed and off we go.

1946 shed filled with animal leavings and moldy artifacts becomes studio

A change in the Weather, What next for the artist?

Dolphins sculpture Kelowna
The wind blows the Maple outside my window and the clouds cover the sky for the first time in weeks. Yesterday was all about reconnecting. A coffee brought to me in the morning, my son visiting with his dog, a friend going for a walk with me, communicating with two Face Book friends at night.
But the most basic communication is with self. I have to become more focused and see where I am heading. One of the things I have been engaged in recently is taking photos at night of things I see around Kelowna. Usual things seen with fresh eyes is the theme.

water like fire at night

Waiting through this pain
like my legs so numb
not moving
I look down and see
the progress I am making
is unclear
I cannot see the stones
I walk upon
Nor feel the contact
That way you can see where the levitra cost of sales site’s been indexed and coming up. lowest price for viagra This is said to be truly efficient and effective for the treatment of erectile dysfunction. Not everyone gets suffer with but tadalafil pharmacy usually it will take up to seven business days depending where you are from their shipping center and what method of shipment that they are using. Bipolar disorder in children and adolescents Bipolar disorder is a significant difference between Sildenafil tablets and more helpful tabs discount levitra. with the bottoms of
my feet.
Spirit, legs lift
I am hopeful
that just moving
will move me forward
to a new place
where I can dance again..
the beautiful shapes of water
Today I begin to make the shed into a studio, to get some painting done, to honor the gifts I have been given.
Do I know what will come?
I have the confidence to know I have vision and talent.

Those will be my guiding lights for now.the surface of the water is sculptoral

Step by Step: How does the future unfold?

Today I worked more on getting the patio area outside my studio ready. I dug up the weeds, moved old wood, picked out the stones and laid out the big jig saw pattern. The handyman is coming next week to put in the last windows, make a plywood wall for behind the counter and then I can lay the entire studio out for work.

Hopefully a former student is coming to visit and look at my art.

Because it is 90 degrees out I am taking a break from working in the sun. Listening to Wayne Dyer under the air conditioning and drinking bubbly water is great. When it grows cooler, I will go out and finish laying the patio. It feels so good to get the back yard in order so that I can have a calmer life.
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night sky image

night sky image

Next I am writing a poetry book from my old journals and making some applications for schools. Opening up to the wonderful possibilties in life. What a journey.

Creating Opens the Doors

The question of what next, where next and how to be keeps arising in our lives.

I do know that by creating, a path makes itself visible.

One step at a time. One idea at a time. What most drives me these days is finding my tribe.

Where are the people that “get me” and encourage me?
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Recently I have discovered that many of them have been around me all the time.

I have just kept them at a distance.

Submitting for schools, jobs, considering places is easier when you have those around you who believe in your intelligence and talent. I am very lucky to have that support group.

Kelowna Artist Teaches Continuing Studies

Preparing for my classes for UBC-O Continuing studies is opening up options for me. There is talk about being on a local panel for an internet conference. Over 25 years of teaching makes a person very flexible. What is really fun is to take on a subject which is adjacent to work that I have already done but there is a necessity for filling in information. References, research and expanding my knowledge is exciting and also pushes me to be more flexible.

Tiber River

Tiber River

I created a travel journal on the site mytripjournal.com when I was in Europe for an art show in Florence, Italy. Friends and family followed me daily and had a way of feeling closely connected.
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Many of the works that I created for Europe were absolutely perfect for the sophisticated european spaces. The sleek and minimalist interiors are perfect settings for me work. Winning a jury prize was an unexpected bonus for being part of the exhibition.

I will have my studio created by the end of July and have beautiful abstract, mixed media pieces for viewing and for sale.

July Art shows and UBC-O Continuing Studies

July is a very active month for me. The last six months were really, really difficult. The universe said, “Surprise.” And I still am in a state of recovery from my separation from my husband. The sadness wells up when I least expect it and I keep expecting to come home and find him here. Sixteen years of having him with me daily and being my best friend is going to take a while to get over.

However, there is lots to keep me occupied. I have an art show coming up at the Rotary Centre for the Arts.

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Get ready for
Potters and Artisans 20th annual
For the Love of Art Almighty! Sale
It’s the Biggest and Best Quality Art and Crafts Sale in Kelowna.

Rotary Centre for the Arts
Sat. July 17 from 10:00am – 6:00pm and Sunday, July 18th from 10:00-4:00
Featuring Local Artisans and their Wares,
Pottery, Clay Art, Mixed Media Paintings, Digital Arts, Drawings,
Glass work, Slumping and Stained glass, Sculpture,
Jewellery, Silver and Gold Smiths, Fabric Art, Textile Arts,
Weaving, Photography, Print making, Wood work,
Quilting, and, other high quality Art and crafts.
Sponsored by Potters Addict Ceramic Art Centre and the Rotary Centre for the Arts.
Call Potters Addict 250-763-1875 for more information.

Also in July, I am teaching three classes for UBC-O Continuing Studies.

Blogging is a one day workshop

Limited spaces available.
Saturday July 31 9 am – 1 pm Total Cost: $67.20

Blogging

$60 + HST

What started out as a simple method for keeping an online

diary or journal has become arguably the hottest form

of communication and expression of the day. Blogs

are micro-websites that are typically maintained

and updated by an individual. While many still

function as personal diaries, a growing number

provide commentary or news on a particular

subject. This hands-on workshop helps you get

started on your own blog, whether it’s merely a

place to record your daily thoughts or a venue

to share your ideas or opinions on the world

today. Learn the basics: deciding what to

write about; setting up a blog, step-by-step;

using templates; uploading text, photos, video,

and audio; and using various blog tools.

Travel Writing is a full week of learning

Limited spaces available.
Monday – Friday July 26 – 30 9 am – 12 noon Total Cost: $252.00

$ 225 + HST

Take a trip with a veteran travel writer, and discover what it takes to have your story published. Good travel writing is more than just describing where you’ve been and what you’ve seen. This week-long journey will teach globetrotters what you should know before you go and how to translate what you’ve seen onto paper. The session will look at how to generate story ideas, help participants develop their writing skills, and teach aspiring travel writers how to get their work published by writing pitch letters to editors. Whether your travel story is about far-flung destinations or the multi-faceted beauty of the Okanagan, this is where it all begins.

Bon voyage!

Location: FIPKE Building

Room number: FIP138

I have been taking pictures of flowers from the garden and

snugging up close to really see the heart of the flowers.

blue rose with filters

blue rose with filters

canterbury bell has a seed forming

canterbury bell has a seed forming

chevrolet red rose

chevrolet red rose

Purple Clemantis with white star centre

Purple Clemantis with white star centre

clemantis paint image

clemantis paint image

clemantis with white star centre

clemantis with white star centre

beautiful lilies, the bud itself is wonderful

beautiful lilies, the bud itself is wonderful

Art Gallery of Contemporary Works

brilliant colors with florescent paints :spirit/wind

brilliant colors with florescent paints :spirit/wind

fire with glass bead sparkles, water with pearlescence

fire with glass bead sparkles, water with pearlescence

four images on canvas/ mixed media

four images on canvas/ mixed media

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blue gold looks like metal sculpture

blue gold looks like metal sculpture

carpet image is now in gallery in Italy.

Two Months and where is the art?

Today is the anniversary of the dissolution of my partnership, friendship and married state. Things are getting easier in the sense that I can sleep for four or more hours a night. The emptiness is still intense. The sense of unreality and living in a darkened valley is pervasive. Yesterday when I was buying apples, I was excited to see the kind my husband likes and began to put them in a bag. No. He isn’t there any more. Then I began to sob in the store, deep soul rending sobs. I embarrass myself. The act of caring for, thinking about, trying to find small gifts and pleasures for the person I love are habits developed over 16 years and it is a deep sense of loss when I cannot show my love any longer.

words that held no meaning

words that held no meaning

I have created a couple of digital art works and begun to put thoughts as poems up on facebook in order to speed the mourning process. I do not love lightly. I do not love easily. Fiercely loyal and passionate, I have held on when others would have walked away.

When I think of the two of us, I think of gardening. Two plants that are close together have their roots intertwined. To transplant them is to tear the roots apart, the white threads indistinguishable until the ripping begins. This tearing was not gentle, anticipated nor was it kind. The shock has set me back but the sun is shining and I have hopes that one day I will not be so wounded and full of sorrow. One day I will wake to calm and not emptiness.

your voice so sweet carries me forward

your voice so sweet carries me forward

The sun is frozen on the branches

outside my window.

I awake alone.

Air hangs cold in the room

There is no sound of you

with coffee cups of love
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to warm the day.

I am waiting

for my heart to mend

and pull the wrapping blankets around

to hold me like your arms.

did once.

One foot in front of the other even though I cannot see the ground keeps me moving. The two images I have up at Sopa are in the gallery.

Embrace $680 at Sopa under 8 show

Embrace $680 at Sopa under 8 show

Today I will begin the process of getting my taxes done, finding out if I had a successful procedure to stop the tearing of the retina in my right eye (the doctor said it is trauma related. Maybe 8 weeks of crying all day). I have a yard to prepare for spring. My class in Penticton needs care. I have the marking up to date and some preparation done but I do need to create a mid term mark. I am hopeful that I can get out of this depression and get back to work in the studio. I am pushing myself to function and making accomplishments.

Grieving is exhausting work but I don’t want to take this baggage forward with me. I want it out of my system, out of my heart. There is love waiting for me. I am sure of that.

When is creating art “work”?

Today I finished the image for submission to the Penticton Art Gallery’s show in protest to funding cuts to the arts and various other “human friendly” organizations. The first stage was to revisit the image that I created and make it more easily visible on a 10 x 13 format. Financial considerations must drive so much of what I do. This size allows me to use an already purchased frame that I hung in the Show Home for Homes for the Holidays. It also allows me to create the image on the printer in my studio and not have to pay to have it printed on canvas over a stretcher frame.

With Glowing Hearts: Quo Vadis $175

With Glowing Hearts: Quo Vadis $175

The snow plow has scooped up funding for various organizations in order to clear a path for “the games.” My submission involved research as well into various sociological terms and texts that helped to formulate my artist’s statement.

Quo Vadis

From Wikipedia

Bread and circuses” (or bread and games) (from Latin: panem et circenses) is a metaphor for handouts and petty amusements that politicians use to gain popular support, instead of gaining it through sound policy. The phrase is invoked not only to criticize politicians, but also to criticize their supporters for giving up their civic duty.

In modern usage, the phrase has become an adjective to deride an infantilized populace so defined by entertainment, instant self gratification, and personal pleasures that they no longer value civic virtues and the public life (not necessarily accomplished through deliberate pacification by politicians but through the popular culture itself). To many social conservatives, it connotes the wanton decadence and hedonism that defined Rome prior to its decline and that may similarly contribute to the decline of modern society.
Hofstede’s 1993 “Cultural Constraints…

  • Power Distance
    The degree of inequality among people which the population of a country considers as normal: from relatively equal (that is, small power distance) to extremely unequal (large power distance).This represents inequality (more versus less), but defined from below, not from above. It suggests that a society’s level of inequality is endorsed by the followers as much as by the leaders.

  • Masculinity
    The degree to which tough values like assertiveness, success and competition, which in nearly all societies are associated with the role of men, prevail over tender values like the quality of life, maintaining warm personal relationships, service, care for the weak, and solidarity, which in nearly all societies are more associated with women’s roles. Women’s roles differ from men’s roles in all countries; but in tough societies, the differences are larger than in tender ones.

The government’s attempt to bulldoze a path to the Olympics by cutting funding to create, to educate, and to care for citizens will leave an economically costly swath behind. Caring gestures and gentle intersessions provide enormous financial benefits.

All of my working life I helped teenagers in distress. Project Overcome was a US pilot project that took bright teenagers on probation, living a basically hopeless life and taught them art and music. They saw the power, the joy of learning and of expressing themselves which saved society money in probation officers, court time, counselors.

A decade spent in the North allowed me to work with some living in unconscionable conditions. By experiencing the rewards of disciple, they learned the satisfaction of putting on a play, or playing in the school band. They were lifted above and beyond the boundaries that were defining them. Cutting school programs to the arts will cost society money.

As a video making, acting and creative writing teacher in Rutland Senior Secondary I witnessed the arts allowing the student to conduct a very necessary examination of value systems, to see the importance of an individual assuming responsibility for his or her choices. Through the arts, they began to forge a more knowledgeable and more personal sense of being in the world. The results saved society money.

Glowing Hearts Bulldozer: Quo Vadis

digital photographic print, limited edition print with certification of authenticity by artist

framed 17 ¼ inches by 14 ½ inches

ink jet with archival paper and ink

$175

After completing my entry and sending it off into the world of air and hope, I tottered out into the world in order to mail christmas cards. I felt so fragile and unprotected. I could only hobble and crossing the street seemed eerie and strange after being in bed for eight days. I purchased three flowes, a vitamin drink, chocolate pudding, a gossip magazine and shakily climbed the stairs to regroup.

After dinner, I found through face book that Salmon Arm’s Art Gallery is having a post card show, so I snuggled into my down covered nest of pillows and worked on a post card which has as its topic :Wish You Were Here.

here as in a joyous place of energy and creativity

here as in a joyous place of energy and creativity

Creating art is healing and energizing. I felt quite content to sleep after my adventuresome day. It is so very quiet in my isolation that I can hear my own drum.
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