Is it defunct or only

stymied

my watch?

I stopped following it

when the arms

rested at four.

A.M.? or P.M?

Am I bound in early light

or waiting for supper time?

Acknowledging that all things

eventually leave off,

Resignation,

relinquish

attachment to this
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Life thing.

The uncertainty of cause

Is the battery dead,

the mechanisms tired?

Perhaps, it is not over

but only resting,

a pause

from overloading

time.

We are doing too much. It is interesting to watch the movement through time. Like aerialists we are managing to catch the bar and one another but the problem of physical exhaustion arises. When is too long in the air a danger or a fatal error. We play the game of over extention that we are taught is necessary for survival in the culture of clutching. Perhaps, it would be easier to let go of the objects that we tend to tend and just spend more time on the ground.

Today I have three deadlines to meet. I am learning to live without a car but I am so attached to it that it is a cause of actual grief to not be able to move into traffic, transverse the city, go to the thrift shop haunts. It is interesting to observe myself dealing with this uncomfortable place.

I am, however, getting a chance to see the two of us as a team working together to overcome our debt load. Every hour and every dollar count. Everything we don’t buy is more of a resource. Paying “the man” over $700 a month in interest is insane and we want out of this situation. Going without a car and having to pay the load off on a phantom object is quite an experience but in reality no different than what we already do. We are paying for many phantom objects.

You cannot keep up with the dreams, the hunger, the lists, the projects that the mind generates. And trying to keep up just exhausts you. When Thich Nat Hahn says that an individual and a couple need a strategy for living, he is dead on. One must have a mission statement and stick to the path. There are so many excuses that I can make up from veering from that which I know full well is in my best interest, my families best interest and the societies best interest. And it is not buying more crap, eating more crap, indulging in crappy entertainment because I feel disoriented from buying and eating crap. Observing self is entertainment enough and has all of the comedy, horror and suspense that you need for a really thrilling ride.

Today I will remove the watch from my wrist that hasn’t worked for over a week. Some days I even wore the stalled watch upside down on my arm. Funny?